Sunday, June 26, 2011

Life, Love, and the Pursuit!

So, its been awhile, but I thought I'd add my opinions on this topic. Because my opinions are in such high demand. HAHahahahaaa.... Anyway.

I've never been one to worry about life. I do the best that I know how, and so things will either turn out how I want them to, or they won't. I've realized that there is nothing you can do about it. However, I often feel like I'm alone in my thinking this way.

I mean, it says in the Bible, Matthew 6:24 I believe, to not worry for tomorrow, to be like the lilies, who just simply grow. For some reason, I don't think He would have bothered with it if it were a common thought process.

But then it all comes back to trust, does it not? You have to be able to trust in yourself to make decent decisions, trust in friends to tell you when your messing up, and to trust in God to fix everything when you've made a mess of it and didn't listen to your friends.

I think I've recently started taking back my trust. From friends, for the simple fact I haven't had time to invest enough in them to know if I can trust them. From myself, because I've on occasion come to doubt the very decisions I was once so proud and convinced of. And even a bit from God, because I, of course couldn't be the one to blame in this, right?

Its unnerving! And I am not a fan. at all.

I've gotten most of my swagger back, because, let's face it, I am all things awesome, but every once in a while, something comes along and shakes me to my core. I find myself frightened that I've messed my entire life up, because of one innocent conversation that I read far to much into, or something I see going on in someone else's life, and I think, "Why don't I have that?"

Far too often, we set our eyes on others. Comparison should be the 11th commandment. Thou shalt not compare. Because way to frequently we look at others awesomeness, and forget about our own! You maybe in a wonderful job, doing exactly what you know you've always wanted to do, doing an amazing job, and you take a look at another person, out traveling, not tied down to anything, and think, "Wow, my life sucks, I wish I was as awesome as they are," while all the while the traveler is thinking the same as you. I've certainly been guilty of it.

And that brings me to the love portion of this blog. My favorite topic! Oh wait, no. I'm not the girl who goes boy crazy, or day dreams about being married. I'm not going to stop my life/awesomeness to be with someone else. I'm looking for someone whose life fits together with mine. But then the constant barrage of wedding announcements come, and I find myself rethinking things that I know are right and true. I've found myself thinking how much easier would it be if God weren't a factor for me in a relationship. Of course, I immediately smack myself upside the head because He is the biggest factor, and the most important, and the ONLY ONE THAT TRULY MATTERS!!!!! He's the one that makes my life worth living, and the one that will make my marriage the best there's ever been (I do in fact realize that there will be issues, and it will not be perfect, but without God in it? Disasterous!)

Again, it all comes back to trust and comparing, so feel free to read those paragraphs again, because my thoughts are the same still.

I am ever so glad though that when I'm in those moments of despair, God sends me reminders of why I chose this life (Yes, it is a choice. You can choose to be a sad sack, or you can choose to be awesome). One of those reminders came to me from a fellow blogger. You can read the wonderful work here . And while I haven't had her experience on the subject, it is all I have observed in others relationships, and many of my reasons for choosing a relationship centered around God. 

Well, I guess that just leaves the pursuit. Not the pursuit of Happiness, but the pursuit of life, trust, love, if you must (though I would be one of the ones who encourages you to not pursue that, let it pursue you. Otherwise you end up looking desperate). Remember to slow down and relax, because stressing yourself out is never going to make the situation your in better. I mean, think about it! Has it EVER made a situation BETTER? NOOOOO!!!! Trust God. He's always got your back, more so than the lilies of the field. And when you've reached that point where you start to doubt that? He'll send you reminders. It may even involve you being a reminder for someone else! Like just last week, I was sitting around, bummed, for absolutely no reason, when I had this ridiculous urge to send some money to a person that I've never met, only read their blog, who was on the road. You ever get those? No? Me neither! But I did, and so I was like, ok, its the middle of the night, but whatever. The next day, I get an email, saying that that was this guys answer to prayer, IMMEDIATELY after he finished praying. HOW COOL IS THAT?!!!!!! So, in one fell swoop, God restores faith to two! I don't know about you, but I think that is crazy cool. You know it is too.

So to summarize, don't stress, learn to trust, don't compare, and TRUST!!!!

Talk to you all later!

Thanks for reading guys! It means a lot.