You all are quite intimidating. I started this blog with the idea that I would write about some of my travels, which I've done very little of, and it's become some sort of journal for me. Which, if you've ever had the fantastic experience of reading my journals from 5th grade, you would know that this is hilarious. (For those of you who haven't, here's a clue. They weren't any good. Even my mom mocks them. Often.) I try to write about what I'm going through, explain the crazy that happens in my head, and just in general, be me.
It's funny, because at times I feel more myself here than I do anywhere else. It's not that I'm not social, because I am, and its not that I'm not myself everywhere, it's more that I'm not this open with everyone. Which is ridiculous, I know, since I'm putting this online and literally everyone can see it. But I think its got something to do with all of you being faceless numbers that makes this so much easier. And while its wonderful that I have all of you to listen to my ramblings, I need more.
I need to be inspired. I need to be directed. I need to be held accountable and called out when I'm not holding myself to the standards I and God have placed on my life. And I, and you as well, can't get all of that from the faceless masses.
We need real people in our lives. We need to have relationships that go beyond 140 characters, no matter how much we can get to know a person on Twitter (Follow me!). We need to reach out to those that are actually around us. Social media is wonderful. It's a great way to meet new people, stay connected with friends, promote blogs you like, hint hint, but it's just a tool.
We need to connect. I wrote in a different post that "we aren’t meant to be soulless, emotionless, disconnected beings. We’re meant to connect! We’re meant to share our stories and thoughts with people." Because when we stop doing that, when we shut people out, we become far too self reliant. We're stuck with our own ideas, our own thoughts, and we begin to loose imagination, inspiration. We become the self absorbed folks who actually think we know what's best.
We have to have others in our life for God to reach us. To stretch us and grow us. To keep us from growing stale. To keep us from being fake.
I say all of that to say this: I don't know what I'm doing here. I'm never going to write something for you all just to write something. I'm going to write things because they're things I'm dealing with, things I'm learning, things others have pointed out to me and made me think. But I'm not going to write to please or impress you. That will ultimately fail, just like my 5th Grade journals. And no one wants to read those.
Thank you all for reading. It really does mean the world to me. If you have things that you're dealing with, something that's been revealed to you, or whatever, let me know! Like I said, I haven't a clue what I'm doing, so any inspiration is welcome!