Monday, January 2, 2012

Days of Summer...

It's January 4th, I'm in Minnesota, and we have about 2 inches of snow. For us, that's practically summer. Ok, fine, it's more like spring. Either way, the weather is being odd, and so am I.

I know, shocking, huh? Lauren Jean being odd? Actually, that's pretty much par for the course over here. But I am actually going to talk about something that I am not really big on talking about. Love.

You see, this is a topic that I feel, well, it gets way to much exposure. I can think of about 5 blogs just off the top of my head that that's their main focus. Girls devote their daydreams to it. Boys, well, I don't know, but I know that its at least on their minds.  Love is one of those things that is so much more than the butterfly feelings we get when thinking of that special someone. Love is God, but even that answer seems to have clouded up what Love truly means.

For some, Love is placed on this pedestal. It's the magical element that once they posses it, all their troubles will simply melt away. It might not be this drastic for all, but it can be something as simple as thinking the person of their desires is perfect. That they will make them complete, give them inspiration, be the pillar that they can lean on.

For others, they've been burned far too often to believe. They take their troubles on by themselves, in an effort to be seen as strong, but in doing so they grow weaker with each battle they wage.

I recently watched the movie 500 Days of Summer with some friends. I had already seen it, but quite a few hadn't. If you haven't and you were planning on it and you don't want me to ruin it, well, stop reading? I mean, I'm not gonna reveal anything that you aren't warned of in the 1st 5 minutes of the movie, but still, even though there is plenty of warning, somehow people are still surprised at the end. So, I guess, make up your own mind? I actually encourage that whole thinking process, so yeah, figure it out yourself.

Anyway, so in the movie, there's this guy, Tom. Tom believes that he will only be complete when he meets that special someone. Then, in typical movie fashion, he meets Summer, and falls immediately for her. She informs him she doesn't want a relationship, but within the next few minutes, they're in bed. Mixed signals? Most definitely. Though in this world where sex isn't seen as something to be valued, it doesn't really surprise me. Eventually Summer ends things with Tom, despite the fact that things seems to be going so well. We continue to follow Tom, who's miserable, since he obviously can't be complete without love. Then he runs into Summer, and they get along wonderfully. And then he sees her wedding ring. The girl who didn't want a relationship is married. He freaks, and decides that he's moving on, going to pursue his dreams, yada, yada, yada. He quits his job at the card company, and goes out on an interview to be an architect, and he meets Autumn. And the count with Summer comes to an end, and the one with Autumn begins.

The movie is fine. It certainly is a different take on the rom-com. It has a more real feeling. Because in reality, relationships that should never have been started start, because one or both parties is so infatuated that they can't see the obvious signs of trouble. The thing that shocked me was the conversation that took place afterwards.

You see, the movie had quite the polarizing affect on my friends. Some LOVED IT. They thought it hilarious and real. Others couldn't stand it. They said it was too real. One said it hit too close to home, that it reminded her of times in the past where someone had dropped her without any warning sign. Another didn't want to watch movies for their realness. He has a real life, and wants to watch movies that were better than the life he leads.

Both of these responses are normal and typical, at least that's my guess, but I think they're a little sad. I come across young girls all the time who, after their breakups, that pretty much everyone could tell was on its way and probably a good thing, go back to romanticizing their relationship. "He was the one!" "No one will love me like he did." (That's a good thing.) "What will I do now?" are things frequently heard from their mouths. Instead of recognizing what actually happened in the relationship, and learning from it, they dig themselves further into their delusions that he was their knight in shiny armor, on a white horse, when in reality, he was a punk kid with dirty clothes on a skateboard.

I know its normal to look back and see only the good, but why? Has it ever done anyone good? I dare to say, No. No it hasn't. Because when all you see is the good, you fail to see what needs to change. For those who fear this being left, I say 1st, be glad that it happened sooner than later, and 2nd, learn to look at your relationship with a realistic eye while you're in it. To those who just find it uncomfortable to be confronted with reality, grow up. The fact is that this is happening. People don't know what true love should actually look like, and because of it they end up going after the smallest glimmer of love with all they have. Or they end up turning away from what could be true love because they believe Love to be more a kin to the likes of "typical" romance, the likes we get shoved down our throats from Nicolas Sparks and Hollywood. Some people really believe that tragedy makes a romance, or that if your family and friends raise objections, its just because "they don't understand him like I do." We've been brainwashed into thinking that the man who has been a playboy for ever will change with no effort when he meets the right girl, that the girl with a stuck up attitude is just waiting for a geek to bring out her good side. The truth of the matter is, that doesn't always happen. In fact, I'd be willing to say that that hardly ever happens, and when it does, it usually doesn't stick, without hard work and God.

I don't really have much of a point with this other than we have to get more realistic about love. It's not a magic fix, but neither is it in every loser we come across. We need to get a better realization of what it really is. Which is probably why there are so many blogs out there on the interweb dedicated to it.

Thank you all for reading! Sorry its been so long since my last post, I just haven't had much inspiration, which is probably why this one was so long. It's like thought blockage. Without a constant and consistent release, when I finally get something to talk about I just can't stop! Anyway, so if you're not a fan of the longer post, drop me an idea! Love you much!

P.S. Don't go and watch 500 Days of Summer if you are more sensitive to strong language. It has plenty in it. 

P.S.S. Everyone is more than welcome to their own opinions, even on this movie. To my friends who didn't enjoy it, I'm truly sorry if this offended you. It simply reminded my of some other things that I have been hearing, and seemed to illustrate my points. Again, I do hope that you see my heart in what I've written, and not simply the words. Thank you.


  1. This is probably the best blog on love that I've ever read (and there is no shortage of them, as you have mentioned.) I don't know you, have never met you but I can see that there is a wisdom that you have far beyond your years. God has given you the gift of writing and I definitely appreciate that you're not afraid to approach things outside of the typical "box".

  2. Thank you so much, Emily! That really means a lot to me. I definitely needed to hear that today, so again, thank you.